City of Brotherly Shove

Long week. Busy week. Ready for the weekend. Took this pic on a walk with Lulabelle through the neighborhood. That's a side note.

I have one client tomorrow and then we are off to Philly to cheer Cindy on as she runs the marathon! Excited to meet this extraordinary gal face to face!

We're also simply looking forward to the get away. Philly is so close to NYC. Why don't we check it out more often? Sometimes the city sucks you in like a black hole...making it difficult to even go as far as just across the river to NJ.

Anyway, here's to Cindy kicking some Philly ass and to a great weekend!

Transracial Parenting Manual

Check out this free transracial parenting manual found on Dr. John Raible's blog.

I am working on a blog post in my head that I'll soon write down regarding white privilege and transracial parenting. As we get closer to bringing home Baby Girlfriend (yesterday we celebrated ticking off 1 month in the possible 6 months until travel wait) we are thinking and talking more and more about the various impacts of becoming a biracial family. Part of this process has been about us OWNING the ways in which we have perpetuated racism in our lives, as well as strategies for increasing our awareness of our white privilege. Part of the process has also been about talking with friends, both white and black, about becoming a biracial family. The responses have been varied and interesting. I'll soon share more.

I'm also planning on hosting what I'm calling an Adoption 101 Dinner Party for our friends who are interested in learning more about the politics, myths and norms of adoption, in hopes that we can educate and create strong allies in this journey. We have good meaning friends who have "asked the wrong questions" or who have struggled with talking about sensitive adoption issues simply because they aren't equipped with the vocabulary or aren't in the know. I have no idea how many friends may come or how it will go over, but I think by equipping those closest to us, there may be a ripple effect....they can teach others who may know us, but not well enough to approach us. Does that make sense?

This is turning out to be a busy week, so cannot get it all down today. But hope to very, very soon. Ciao!

Black Doll White Doll

So my friend Laura makes these amazing handmade dolls, among other things. Oh my, I've been a fan of hers for sometime. Her work is amazing and the fact that she was at Martha Stewart as the craft editor for years and years made me sweat over the placement of every little thing in my home the night she and her husband came over for dinner.

Check our her website and her store and a bit more (click on "brooklyn flea") on her goodies for sale.



So, Laura came over for dinner a couple weeks ago and we were talking about her top sellers. The conversation got verrrrry interesting when she stated that she has pretty much stopped making dolls of color because really only her white dolls were selling. Hmmmmm....



Did anyone hear the episode of This American Life called Babies Buying Babies about the girl working in the "adoption center" at FAO Schwartz and how she noticed that the white dolls were adopted first, and when they were sold out white families "made do" with Asian and Latino babies, leaving the black dolls to languish in the "nursery". To add insult to injury, a deformed doll (a factory second), whose fingers were fused together, was adopted out before the black dolls were.

Ahhh, the hierarchy of racism.

Laura also told me of an email she got from a women who wanted to buy a doll, but who reached out to her because her shop was almost empty, only a black doll left. The woman said she wanted to buy a white doll because really she had no use for a black doll.

Of course, I found this fascinating dinner conversation.

And what about the black doll white doll experiment from the days of Brown vs The Board of Education? Check out this recent recreation of the experiment. It is SOOOO frightening:



What?! No no no no no no no no no no no no no! This is so wrong.



I thought those of you who are raising children of color and those of you who aren't but who want your children to celebrate diversity might like to know that Laura is taking holiday orders for custom dolls. If you're interested in placing a holiday order you might also want to check out this page for additional details. Laura can make your doll look like you or your loved one.

More on undoing racism in the coming days....

For Nostaligia's Sake

Scene from the mall in my hometown. Will the Gators be national champs again??

My dear friend Rich has installed a black chandelier in his Manhattan apt. I love it. Here's a not so great iphone photo of it.

Autumn from my window

A tree grows in Brooklyn, and it's right in front of our house. This is such a pretty sight each time I walk through my living room.

On tap for the weekend:
-waiting parents adoption support group
-a trip to Michaels in Queens for a gift basket
-baking goodies to put in said gift basket
-an afternoon in the Hudson Valley with another Ethiopian adoptive family
-an evening of Injera and Doro Wat in NJ with a 2nd Ethiopian adoptive family...meeting their new sibs for the first time
-Ethiopian church and Amharic lessons
-hopefully a tiny bit of Sunday afternoon down time

Have a wonderful Autumnal weekend!

more than just a slow down: a spotlight on a very real need

photo, originally uploaded by cloverlandfarm.

So our adoption agency, CHSFS, sent out an email this week officially changing the wait time for an infant from 12-18 months to 16-24 months. They've also announced they are (for the time being) no longer taking applications from families interested in adopting children under 24 months. This is because 90% of families currently waiting have requested an infant under 24 months, but only 33% of the children they serve fit that demographic.

And so it goes. Everyone wants babies. We wanted a baby. But I'm also pushing for an older child for adoption #2. Kudos to CHSFS for taking steps toward concentrating on finding families for older children. I hope to be a part of one of those families someday.

Bale Bale (Clap Clap, Shimmy & something like a Shuffle Ball Change)

My bollywood dance class is going well, even if I am the oldest and goofiest of the bunch. Yep, a class that is sufficiently out of my comfort zone, but so fun. At least most of the others in the class are also PhD students (even though they look 1/2 my age). We are working on a routine to this song from Bride and Prejudice, a movie I've yet to see, but need to rent. It's not the same routine they do in this blurry clip, but this kind of gives an idea of what some of our moves are like. When I get some time, I'm going to browse my outfits options in "Curry Hill" in Manhattan. I want my holiday party to be a show stopper. Oh, the things I'll do to pass the time while we wait and love a paper baby.

ps: I'm asking for tap shoes for Christmas. I'm planning on taking tap in January.

Happy

Am back from my hometown, Gainesville, Florida (aka Hogtown). Had a wonderful time hanging with my folks, helping them around the house and doing some shopping for Baby Girlfriend....we are still waiting on our court date. More soon. xo

new beginnings

I have a new friend named Jordan. She is awesome and she has moved into the neighborhood, which is sooo lucky for me. She has the best style. I am coveting this piece of artwork recently hung in her new apartment. I can't help it.

My favorite day as a New Yorker

Today was the NY Marathon. Here are a few of the pics I took....

IMG_0996.jpg, originally uploaded by cloverlandfarm.

These gals were in the 2nd pack of elite women. We've met one of them at the Ethiopian Orthodox Church.

IMG_1110.jpg, originally uploaded by cloverlandfarm.

This fellow is one of the Maasi warriors who ran with Edward Norton. You can read more about their project here.